Can Fear Hold Us Back from Our Biggest Dreams?

Are we responsible for the roadblocks of our own success?

One of my earliest memories in life is of a beautiful piano, on a forklift, being driven down State Street in Calumet City, Illinois. I was barely five years old, it is a core memory! My Dad and Grandpa owned a lumberyard called, State Lumber Company which had been our family business since WWII. Someone who owed the lumberyard money sent the piano instead of cash to pay off their debt. That piano, which was lifted and delivered by one of my Dad's forklifts, made it's way to our home and I begged my parents for lessons. As a 5 year old, I had no idea that being open to the opportunity of learning music would open doors for me and my future.

The piano lessons I took lead to more than a budding musical interest. My innate ability to hear the music and pick up new instruments lead to me forming dreams of being a musician for a career. In 4th grade, I added the trumpet to my musical abilities which I continued playing into high school in the school band. Then after seeing how popular my brother became after playing in the Battle of The Bands at our high school, I decided as a sophomore to also take on the guitar. Music was not just a hobby; Music and all it encompassed was my life. I applied and was accepted in The Cincinnati Conservatory of Music, to study Jazz Trumpet. I was ready to shine. I had big dreams ahead of me!!

Does Adulting Dictate Our Dreams?

I was hired in my first month of college to teach trumpet lessons and jazz combos at The Cincinnati School For The Creative and Performing Arts...a world renowned performing arts school, that at the time was known for raising the performers that would become the band 98 Degrees. I taught at SCPA for two years which gave me a steady source of income throughout college.  In the summers, I taught music and performed at summer camps, which led to me touring on the weekends while I was still in school. By my senior year of college, I was making enough to be independent and stable. I was fearless and had never let anything stand in my way of where I wanted to be. But making money was now a requirement as I was an adult - so the ability to play music and make a living was incredible.

At the age of 22, I was considered an entrepreneur, though I didn't really understand what that meant.  I had created jobs out of nothing but abilities and determination. I had built up confidence in myself and in my skills. I was extremely passionate about music, touring, performing and teaching!  I had no business plan, no concept of where I was headed, and no expectations of what was going to happen next.  Each job led to another job. Eventually I was booked three or four weekends a month out of town performing, while teaching and taking classes during the week.  And through it all, I had no fear, no concerns of things not working out or that something may go wrong.  And it didn't go wrong. The reality is I was too young and inexperienced to realize that I should have had such concerns, and as a result everything lined up as it was supposed to. I believed in myself enough to see past the roadblocks that could have prevented me. What my end goal was, I don't really know but at that time I knew I was destined to be helping guide others with music. Whatever that looked like!

As We Grow Our Confidence in Ourselves Changes

For the next 20 years though, as I grew and developed, my career seemed to shift and things seemed to get more and more difficult. As I entered deeper stages of adulthood my needs changed with my needs as a husband and future father. I needed stability. I was a full time teacher for a while and then started my own company producing music. I was improving as a musician and an educator. I eventually earned a Masters Degree in Music, which I used largely to become a composer and sound designer. By the time I was mostly producing music full time I had left teaching music. By that time I was almost 30 and fell into the same mental and emotional trap that so many late 20 - early 30 year old's do - I had developed many preconceived notions about where I "should be" in the world financially and professionally.  I wasn't always happy with the work I was creating, I was struggling to find consistent clients. As I became more fearful it became more and more difficult to succeed.  I had no passion in who I was or what I was creating, I questioned my abilities constantly.

I was not happy with where I was in my career and at some point, I had to pivot and make a change. I decided that in addition to creating and composing music, I would offer photography and video work, something I had a passion for but had very little experience selling as a professional product.  With this pivot came new fears with new products and technology - and my childhood lust for taking on fear was replaced with concern of my own abilities and willingness to be more risky.

I was scared of failure in a way I never knew possible. I created my own roadblocks - it affected my confidence and this stunted the growth of my entrepreneurial adventures. This lack of confidence spread into my essence.

The irony is I was producing better quality content and higher quality music than I ever had before, but I wasn't seeing the same results that I had seen when I was in college, when I was fearless due to just not knowing any different.

I realized I had to get out of my own way and do the hard stuff and FACE MY FEARS. Fear of failure, fear of others not seeing my worth, fear of becoming obsolete. These Fears were driving me and my choices and it was time for me to face them and make a change.

Are We More Capable Than We Realize?

With more experience, came more confidence and with more confidence (and some trial and error) came a business that has successfully lasted me over 15 years. But as I entered my 40's I found myself not content with where or who I was. While I am proud of all I have created and developed, I knew I needed a shift - a shift in my career, my mindset and my life.

Again, fear of change took over and this time I recognized that I had 2 doors I could choose from.

• Door 1: This door would continue the path I was on, knowing I was unhappy but knew what to expect. This door would keep me on the path of the current work I was doing, which was hard and very much void of my passion for music but was stable and paid the bills.

• Door 2 : This door would require me to shift my entire thought process and be vulnerable to the unknown and face my fears. This door would lead to hard choices and unknowns in a new path of sound healing and positive light. It would open my life up to new opportunities of growth and personal healing in the hopes that a business would grow and income would follow.

When We Overcome Our Fears

I opened Door 2 and tentatively stepped inside - my own fears screaming in my head to turn back. My family, friends and colleagues helped me remember the confidence I had deep inside of me. I have only started walking the road from Door 2; doing the internal work to find my place in this world again. A place without fear of change - a world which I welcome inevitable change in my life. A world that music is now not only part of my job but my life and world. I am a long way from the Midwest, from watching that piano drive down the street as a little boy. But the passion and desire to have music be my world is burning just as strong today. I just had to be willing to get past my own fears of the unknown to help myself succeed at living out my wildest dreams. I do not know what will happen tomorrow, but I am confident that the path I am on is the right one. Whatever it brings, I’m ready for the human experiences coming my way.

I am excited to continue to share more with you all as I learn, grow with our company, Zero Point Activation.

I welcome you to check out our website at www.zeropointactivation.org to read more about how me and my fellow Sound Healers have taken music and worked to bring healing, light and love to all those we encounter. if you are ever in the Greater LA/Orange County Area, please check out are incredible Sound Healing events.

With Love and smiles,

Josh, The Keymaker